Following the common biblical and catholic paradigm, Bishop Ussher’s Twenty-fifth Head of doctrine in his influential A Body Of Divinity, Being The Sum And Substance Of The Christian Religion (1645), describes the various privileges, duties, and violations taught by the fifth commandment using the paradigm of “inferiors and superiors.” This is the same paradigm the Westminister assembly, influenced as it was by Ussher, adopts in its discussion of the fifth commandment.
In this post, I simply would like to provide the reader an easily accessed excerpt of this wholesome teaching on the family from our early Reformed father. May Christ be praised in the churches.
Who are private Superiors, and Inferiors? They are either in the Family, or in the Schools.
What is the duty of Superiors in a Family? First, To provide for the Household the things belonging to their Soul, by a familiar catechizing and examintion; and to go before them in Prayer accordingly; the Householder being therein to be the Mouth of his Family. Second, To provide the Necessaries belonging to this present Life; as Food and Raiment both sufficient and agreeable to every ones place and estate, ( Gen. 18. 6, 7, 8. Prov. 27. 23, 24, 25. & 31. 15. 1 Tim. 5. 8.) with convenient Government.
What is the duty of Inferiors in a Family? To submit themselves to the Order of the House: and according to their Places and Gifts, to perform that which is commanded by the Governors thereof, for the good of the Household, Gen. 39. 2, 3, 4.
What are the differences of Superiors and Inferiors in a Family? They are either natural, as Husband and Wife, Parents and Children: or otherwise, as Masters and Servants, Ephes. 5. & 6. Col. 3. & 4.
What are the common duties of the Husband and Wife each to other? Mutual and conjugal love one towards another: yet so, as the Word presseth love at the Husband's Hands more than at the Wives; because Men are commonly more short of that Duty, Ephes. 5. 25.
Wherein must this Conjugal Love be declared? First,. By mutual help, Gen. 2. 18. Second, By due benevolence, ( 1 Cor. 7. 3. ) except by consent for a time, that they may give themselves to Fasting and Prayer, 1 Cor. 7. 5. 2 Sam. 11. 11.
What are the sins common to the Husband and the Wife? 1. Want of Love. 2. Betraying one another's Infirmities. 3. Discovering each others Secrets. 4. Jealousy. 5. Contention.
What is the duty of the Husband towards his Wife? First, An entire love unto her, to cherish her, as he would cherish his own Flesh, and as Christ does his Church, Ephes. 5. Second, To provide for her that which is meet and comely during his Life: and then also that she may be provided for after his Death, if it so fall out. Third, To protect her, and defend her from all Evil. Fourth, To dwell with her, as one of Knowledge, 1 Pet. 3. 7. Fifth, To give honor to her, as the weaker Vessel, ( Ibid. ) that is, to bear with her infirmities. Sixth, To govern and direct her.
What are the special sins of the Husband? 1. Not dwelling with his Wife. 2. Neglect of edifying her by Instruction and Example. 3. Denying her comfortable Maintenance, and Employment.
What is the Duty of the Wife to the Husband? First, Subjection, in a gentle and moderate kind and manner, Eph. 5. 22. For albeit it be made heavier than it was from the beginning, through the transgressions: yet that Yoke is easier than any other domestic subjection. Second, Obedience: wherein Wives are oft short, as Husbands in Love, Ephes. 5. 33. 1 Pet. 3. 1-6. Third, She must represent (in all Godly and commendable Matters) his Image in her behavior, that in her a Man may see the wisdom and uprightness of her Husband, 1 Cor. 11. 7. Fourth, She must be an helper unto him, ( Gen. 2. 18. ) as otherwise, so by saving that which he bringeth in, Prov. 31. 11-12. 1 Tim 3 11. Finally, She must recompense her Husbands care over her, in providing things necessary for her Household, and do good for her Husband all the days of her Life, ( Prov. 31. 12. ) that so he may be unto her, as it were, a veil and covering before her eyes. Gen. 20. 16.
What are the sins of the Wife, in respect of her Husband? . 1. Failing in reverence: which appeareth in froward looks, speech, or behavior. 2. Disobedience in the smallest Matters. 3. Disregarded of her Husband’s Profit.
What Duties come in the next place to be considered? Those of Natural Parents, who are specially mentioned in this Commandment: whereunto also are to be reduced all in the right Line ascending, and their Collaterals; as also Fathers in Law, and Mothers in Law.
What are the Duties of Natural Parents towards their Children? They are either common to both Parents, or in particular to either of them.
What are the common Duties of both of Parents? They do either respect the things of this Life, or of that which is to come.
What care are they to have of the Souls of their Children, to fit them for the Life to come? 1. To make them Members of the visible church by Baptism. 2. They are to catechize and instruct them in Religion, as they are able to receive it: and to bring them up in nurture and the fear of God, Ephes. 6. 4. 3. They are to pray to God to bless them, and guide them in his Fear.
What is required of them for the things of this Life? First, To mark the wits and inclinations of their Children; and as far as their own ability will reach to apply them accordingly, in due time, to some good, honest, and godly Calling: that so being trained up in such a Trade as they are fittest for, they may not afterwards live idly without any Calling, Gen. 4. 2. Prov. 20. 11. & 22. 6. Second, To provide for them a Godly Marriage (if it please God) in time convenient, 1 Cor. 7. 36. Third, Not only to maintain them, during their abiding in their House, but also to lay up and provide somewhat for them, that they may live honestly afterward. And therefore are they to distribute their Goods among their Children: and what they have received from their Ancestors, to leave the same (where it may be done lawfully) to their Posterity, 2 Cor. 12. 24. 2 Chron. 21. 3. Prov. 19. 14.
What special regard is here to be had by Parents to the Eldest Son? That since God hath honored him with that dignity, as to be their strength, ( Gen. 49. 3. ) he should also be honored by them (at the least) with a double portion, ( Deut. 21. 17. ) as by the rest of the Brethren, with honor: yet so, as he fall not from his honor by some horrible sin, Gen. 49. 4.
What are the common sins of Parents? 1. Negligence in not instructing their Children early in life. 2. Not correcting them till it be too late: or doing it with bitterness, without Compassion, Instruction, and Prayer. 3. Giving them ill example. 4. Neglect of bringing them up in some lawful Calling. 5. Not bestowing them timely, and religiously in Marriage. 6. Light behavior before them, and too much familiarity with them; whereby they become vile in their eyes. 7. Loving beauty, or any outward parts, more than God's Image in them.
What is required of the Father in particular? To give the name unto the Child, Gen. 35. 18. Luke 1. 62, 63. For notwithstanding the Mothers having sometimes given the Name, yet that hath been by the Father’s permission.
What special Duty is laid upon the Mother? To nurse the Child if she be able, Gen. 21. 7. 1 Sam. 1. 23. Lam. 4. 3, 4. 1 Thess. 2. 7, 8. 1 Tim. 2. 15. & 5. 10.
So much of the Duty of Parents to their Children.
What is the Duty of Children to their Parents? It is either general or special, viz. in the case of Marriage.
What are the general Duties? First, To reverence them: and to perform careful obedience to them in all things that they command: by the example of our Savior, who was subject to his Parents, Luke. 2. 51. Second, To pray for them. Third, So to carry themselves, while they are under their Parents tuition, and after they are departed from them, as they may cause their Parents (in their good bringing up) to be commended, Prov. 10. 1. & 17. 25. & 31. 28. Fourth, To be an aid unto them, as well as they be able, and to help them with their Bodies, when they are in distress, Ruth. 1. 16. & 2. 17, 18. Fifth, To repay their Parents care over them, by being ready to relieve them, if they stand in need of relief, and want any thing wherewith God hath blessed them, 1 Tim. 5. 4. Gen. 45. 11. & 47. 12.
What are the contrary sins of Children, in respect of their Parents? 1. Disobedience. 2. Murmuring at their Parents’ Chastisements. 3. Condemning them for any default of Body or Mind. 4. Unthankfulness, in not relieving them, not standing for their deserved credit, etc.
What is the special Duty of Children to their Parents, in case of Marriage? That they ought not so much as or attempt to bestow themselves in Marriage, without their Parents direction and consent; especially Daughters, Gen. 24. & 21. 21. & 27. 46. & 28. 9. Judg. 14. 2. 1 Cor. 7. 36, 37, 38.
What Reason have you to persuade Children to this Duty? That seeing their Parents have taken such great pains and travel in bringing them up, they should reap some Fruits of their Labors in bestowing of them. Besides, they should give them this honor, to esteem them better able, and more wise to provide for their comfortable Marriage, than themselves are. Is this Duty required onfy of Children to their Natural Parents that beg at them? No: It is also in some degree required of Children to their Uncles and Aunts; or to any other under whom they are, and that be instead of Parents unto them, when their Parents are dead, Esther 2. 10, 20. Ruth. 2. 18, 23.
