Source: http://www.digitalpuritan.net
A Prayer for Husbands to use:
It hath pleased thy divine wisdom (invisible and incomprehensible Lord God) to set a special stamp of thine Image on sundry persons over others, in particular on husbands over wives, that thereby they might be more able to do them good. Wherefore, I thy servant, through most unworthy of any dignity or dominion, by reason of that slavery whereinto by sin I have brought myself, yet being by thine appointment thine Image and glory to my wife, in all humility I beseech thee, to pardon all the sins whereof in any kind I stand guilty before thee, and in particular those whereby I have any way dishonored that Image of thine which though has set on me : and withal to give me grace whereby I may be enabled to carry my self worthy of thine Image, and that by a conscionable performance of those duties to my wife, which in thy Word are enjoined to me. The sum of them all being Love, let love towards my wife so abound in me, as my looks, speech, [demeanor], and actions, whether in commanding, reproving, instructing, or admonishing, whether in using authority or familiarity, whether we be alone together or in company, in civil affairs or religious matters, at all times, in all things may be seasoned therewith. Suffer not that odious vice of hatred of my wife to seize on my soul : neither let there be any want of love in me to her.
And that I may be the more wisely use this sovereign grace of Love, give me wisdom to maintain that authority which thou has given me, and that especially by being an example in all goodness : and keep me from losing the same by any base [demeanor], harsh dealing, or too servile yielding in unlawful things. That I may the better manage the authority which thou has given me, let my judgment, I pray thee, be well informed in that communion and fellowship with is betwixt man and wife, lest I should too much [affront] her, and let my heart be so set on upon my own wife, as the best and fittest part for me : and thereupon delight in her entirely : lest by any disrespect [to] my wife or want of affection to her, my heart should be drawn away from her, or hers from me. As a testimony of my entire affection to my wife, bend my mind with all kindness to accept every good duty that she performeth to me ; nor carelessly slighting, nor scornfully rejection any. Let me rather be ready to answer courtesy with courtesy, and to grant her humble desires, without making much ado thereat, and to accept what she is willing to do; yea, to suffer her to to order house and household affairs, according to that wisdom and discretion, which it hath pleased thee to bestow upon her : not over-strictly pressing my authority on her whom thou has made so willing subject herself to me.
In the good things which she doth, give me a heart to encourage her, lest otherwise she would be moved to repent thereof. For her further encouragement, give me such a spirit as may make me sweeten all the duties I perform to her with mildness, that I be no way bitter to her : but that by the titles wherewith I call her, by the instructions wherewith I seek to edify her, by the just and urgent commandments which at any time I lay upon her, by yielding to her tender conscience, by forbearing to force her in any thing unbeseeming her place, by shewing her the reason of that which I require of her; yea, by using my commanding power, nor too frequently, nor too peremptorily, I may manifest much mildness and love. And seeing that charge with thou, O Lord, has given me over my wife, requireth that, as there is just occasion, I should reprove her, make me wise in doing it, that I neither altogether neglect it, nor rashly use it : but be sure that the matter for which I reprove her be a truth, and known truth, and a weighty truth : nor slight report, nor mere surmise, nor light matter. O keep me from being too forward, or too fierce, or too open in reproof. Let my very countenance toward my wife shew forth amiableness : and my gesture be so familiar as may not imply any strangeness towards her : yea, and my actions be actions of kindness, more ready to give her favors as pledges of love, than blows, the effects of wrath. Give me a mind rather to bear with my wife’s infirmities, than, by testiness or peevishness, to manifest my own weakness.
And in regard of the place wherein thou has set me over my wife, work in me a provident care for her, even in the edification of soul, and succor of her body, both in health and sickness, particularly in the time of her child-bearing, every way so far as may be answerable to place and estate, without show of niggardliness. In this respect open my heart and hands to afford my wife such allowance as she may have (besides things needful for herself) to give, as occasion is offered to others, whether children, or servants in the house, or poor saints out of the house : that I show not myself too [severe] to her. And because my life in uncertain, so as I may be taken out of this world before, make me wise to provide for her, according to my means, so long as she shall live and for this end to take heed that in my lifetime I consume not my estate, nor [take] away anything which ought to remain to her after my decease : but by expressed will and testament to make known what is meet for her to enjoy. And while I am with her, make me careful as to provide for her, so to protect against such as may seduce in her soul, hurt her in her body, or impair her [reputation], whether they be children, servants, or any other.
It has pleased thee, O blessed Savior, to make thyself a pattern to husbands in loving their wives. O fix my eyes on this pattern, that as thou loveth thy Church, I may show my forwardness in loving my wife first : and that in truth, without dissimulation : freely, without [compulsion] : purely, without wantonness : entirely in the highest degree that lawfully may be : constantly, without variableness or revolt : yea also tenderly and cheerfully, as a head loveth the body, or as man loveth himself. If thou, O Jesus Christ, who art infinitely greater than thy Spouse, the Church, and canst expect to reap no advantage or benefit from her, vouchsafest to love her, and to perform all the effects of love for her good; should I think much to love my wife, who is in many respects as I myself am, and a great help, comfort, and benefit to me? Or should I think much to perform any duty of love to her? Instinct of Nature teacheth all men to love their bodies : but thou hast made my wife to me as my body; we two by thy divine institution, are one flesh. Shall not then this thine ordinance be of more force with me, to move me to love my wife? O Lord GOD, let it be of force, that so I may honor thine Image planted in me, through Jesus Christ the Head of that true Catholic Church, whereof I believe myself to be a true member.
AMEN.
A Prayer for Wives To Use:
Thine (O Lord of Heaven and Earth) is power and wisdom : thou has a supreme and absolute sovereignty over all the children of Men : thy servants they are, and in the place where thou settest them, they ought contentedly and obediently to abide. In thy wisdom thou hast has appointed a wife to be under her husband, and hast in thy word given him dominion over her. Her subjection is the [clearer], by reason of her great sin in tempting her husband to disobey thee. Now (O God of mercy) I beseech thee to acquit me of the guilt of that sin in particular, and to pardon all other my sins, and to bring my will in subjection every way to thy holy and blessed will. For this end so work upon my desire, as it may be subject to my husband. Inform therefore my judgment of the equity of that order which thou hast set betwixt man and wife : that the common mutual power which is in many things betwixt them, and which both of them have over the same children and servants, may not make me infer equality betwixt them : but that I, knowing a husband to be his wife’s head, may so account my husband to be unto me, whatsoever he [was] before marriage : and answerably bear an inward, awful respect towards him, not suffering any occasion to make me despise him : but outwardly also reverence him : manifesting this my reverence both by my behavior in all [wifely] sobriety without wantonness, mildness without shrewishness, courtesy without scorn, and modesty without pride, and also by my reverend speech to him before his face, and of him behind his back.
And if this reverence may not seem [sincere], make me willing to yield all due obedience to him without any [insolence] against him. And seeing it hath pleased thee to give me a husband of sufficient understanding, give me, I beseech thee, a heart willing to be ordered by him, and to expect his consent in the things I do, not presuming to do anything that belongeth to his authority simply without, or directly against his consent, whether it be in disposing the common goods of the family, yea, unto charitable uses (except in case of necessity), or in ordering children and servants, or entertaining strangers, or journeying abroad, or binding myself by any voluntary vow. And that I may give further evidence of my willing subjection to my husband, whom thou, O Lord, has set over me, work in me a readiness to dwell where he will have me dwell, to come when he calleth, and to do what he requireth. And in case he reprove me, work in me meekness and patience…to bear every reproof [well], and wisdom to redress what is justly reproved : and withal make me so content with my husband’s estate, as I may no way grieve his spirit by upbraiding him with my marriage, or by my [demeanor], or by [reluctance] to stoop to his estate, or to help to repair the [decay] thereof.
And for the manner of subjection to my husband, let it be such as the Church’s subjection is to thee O Lord Christ, in all humility without pride : in all sincerity, without dissimulation : in all cheerfulness, without sullenness : and constantly without intermitting or relinquishing my good course. And for the extent of my subjection, Lord, let it be in all things. In which respect give me grace, I pray three, so to subject my own judgment, as in matters questionable I endeavor to bring my judgment and will to the bent of my husband’s : and in indifferent things to yield to him, and not be too peremptory in my own will. But yet in all my subjection to him, let my eye be so fixed on thee, O Lord, whose person he beareth, as I prefer thee, my heavenly Lord, before him : and there neither forbear to do what thou expressly hath commandeth, nor do what thou forbiddeth, though my husband would have the one forborne, or the other done.
All the forenamed, and other like bound duties, give me grace, O Thou Fountain of All Grace, the rather to perform, [First], because my husband, by virtue of his place, is in thy [stead], so as by subjecting myself to him, I am made subject to thee : but by refusing to be subject to him, I refuse to be subject to thee. Secondly, because thou hast made my husband as a head to me, by virtue whereof my own body which is subject to my head, would be a witness against me, if I should not be subject to him. Thirdly, because in this place and office my husband has a kind of fellowship with thee O Christ : so as thereby I shall maintain even thine honor also. Fourthly, because thou hast made my Husband as a Savior to me, so as by refusing to be subject, I shall show myself ungrateful to him, and injurious to myself. Finally, because I am as well-bound to be subject to my husband, as thy Church is to thee, O Christ : and hereby I shall gain assurance to myself, and give evidence to others, I am a true member of the true Church.
Therefore so bow my will to thy Word, O Lord, as these and other like reasons which are grounded on thy Word, may effectually persuade me to observe such duties to my husband as in thy Word are taught me, and that for the honor of thee, and of thy Son Jesus Christ my heavenly Head and Husband.
AMEN.